Words About Women Matter

Do you know what really gets to me? What pisses me off?

I hear it so often: "They were just words." 

Bull shit.

Words are ideas, ideas are words. Without ideas, without thoughts there would be no words. They're not just words. 

And you don't even have to mean them for them to effect you, effect others. 

Words matter.

My first semester of psychology my professor talked about an experiment, one that's been repeated over and over. Subjects watch a video of a crash; hardly a crash, a fender bender. And then they leave. When they come back they're asked to recall the crash. Oh, but they don't say "please tell me about the crash." They change the words, the bump, the crash, the collision, the accident. And the words they use to ask the question change the memories of the subjects. Some recall a mild incident, others think they saw a body. The suspected speed of the vehicles change as well. 

Just from one little word. 

So why is it, that you think it doesn't matter when a woman is called "little girl." It's just words. 

No it's not.

It's a patronizing piece of shit idea being given a voice. 

If it's not your idea, don't spread it.

Why is it that virtually every romantic story I read has the male lead considering how small, how insubstantial, the size of the heroine is. Insubstantial. That word is used. So is small, tiny, insignificant, barely there, wispy. Women are supposed to be insubstantial. And this is written by women. Do they even realize? These words will sink into your mind, they will damage you, like glass you didn't know you were eating.

A stranger calls you baby. It's not a compliment. Whether he means it or not it's part of a cultural consciousness that takes strength and maturity away from women. 

A woman calls a man a dog. She's not just mad. She's expressing a cultural belief that men are uncontrollable, out of control, irresponsible. That word; stunting a whole sex's ability (right, even) to be brave, selfless, heroic. 

You get in a fight and call her a bitch, then want to say "I didn't mean to say it." You said it, so you believed it. Don't apologize for words when you keep the belief in a dark place in your heart, ready for later. Apologize for the belief when you're ready to stop believing the words you said. 

Don't tell me they're just words.

Words matter.