Well, today was interesting. I spent the morning at my parents' empty house and found it refreshing and relaxing, as always. My sister has pointed out that I'm more productive when I'm alone and I agree. I a got a good deal of things done. I was also fairly depressed when I arrived last night but after nearly 24 hours alone I'm feeling much better. It makes me sad to think that not only are others different in this respect but that they would find my desire for solitude irritating, selfish, or even hurtful. I find the need for constant company overwhelming, frivolous, and irritating. I only say it makes me sad because I can see how it has or might in the future hinder friendships and relationships. If someone thinks a friend hangs out at your place 5 nights a week and I'm happy to call once a week and see the friend once a week than they might be hurt or not want to open up to me because they sense a lack of commitment. When in fact, evidence of my commitment is that I actually called at all. Also, I have noticed quite a lot on OkCupid that men (maybe other women answer this way too) say that they feel that a if they have significant other than they should interact with them every day. Really?
Every day?
Why? Wouldn't a few times a week where the intention is purposeful be better? As in; more pleasant and a better use of time together? Maybe this is proof that I'm not cut out for marriage. I would want time to myself, maybe an entire day or two, every few weeks. Not out of resentment, it wouldn't matter how much I loved the man, but to be alone with my own mind and refuel. It would cause me a lot of anxiety if I thought that what I consider a vital part of survival someone I cared about thought of as a slight.
