For the record; the guy knew what he was doing. I think it was half chemistry and half him knowing exactly what the hell he was doing.
ok, so I tried to straiten out my hair, he messed it up again. He kissed me with my hair in my face, pulled the hair aside and kissed my neck. It felt amazing, but not as good as his hands. His hands were on my legs, arms, back, stomach, neck. He said "see, touching is good." I never wanted him to stop touching me. I touched his knee. I wanted to touch everything.
He asked me if I wanted him to go. No no no nonononono. It was an unfair question. I told him he needed to go. He asked again and I asked him to go to church with me the next day. A small exchange after that and he agreed that he should go. I wanted him to stay. I wanted him to take off his shirt. I wanted him to take off my shirt. I wanted to see just how far I could go before I incinerated or went to hell. I wanted to test my theology. I didn't do any of those things.
This time when he kissed my neck again took an effort not to go boneless. I almost asked him not to stop.
He told me "Let's say I like you enough to be protective of you." I didn't know how good words like those could feel.
I decided to go with him to his bus station. I wanted just a few more minutes with this miracle of sensation. How could I have dated a guy for 11 months and felt none of this? This, which was inspired in two days. I wanted to see him in the light, to see the body I'd felt in the dark, that my own body seemed so at home with against all rational. He was so comfortable, being against him was comfortable. I wanted to kiss again.
We took the stairs and I almost fell a couple of times, my land legs not fully back yet. I felt giddy.
On the subway, in an act of daring, I touched his chest over his jacket, and told him he was very fit. He laughed and said he knew. He had a big enough ego I wasn't going to tell him him the real words, perfect body, like a drug.
At his bus stop we kissed softly and parted.
I could smell him on my skin, taste him on my lips. My skin buzzed and blushed. It took me an hour to find the bus stop I'd been to dozens of times. I felt breathy and beautiful and powerful and brave.
I spent the next three hours saying "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh!" every few minutes.
The entire next week the song "Bad Things" was stuck in my head.
After that, I have to say. Kisses are AMAZING.
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