Blogger is for Babies?

Did I miss something? Is Blogger for couples and families? Because, that's all I came across when hitting the "next blog" button, and mostly it was families with babies, parenting blogs, and parents' blogs. So...what's up?

I'm tempted to think this is part of the ongoing world-wide conspiracy to make me feel like the only human female who is both single and without children.

Luckily, I'm not that paranoid. ;-)

Maybe.

Paranoia

Well, I'm not doing what I should be doing. I have two exams to do online. Not doing either of them. instead I'm on facebook, and my friends have clearly caught the paranoia bug. I feel that just as much as the next person, I do not trust the govt. or mega-corporations, or television, but when people start talkinng about new world orders I just feel a massive instinct to take a big step back from them. It could have to do with me not being comfortable discussing things with no solution. I don't want to talk about how horrible things are without talking about a way to make them better. Just bemoaning our state does nothing. How about we live well, do our best to live within our means (or accept the indentured-servitude of not living within our means), serve others, be intelligent and kind, and the rest of the world can burn. But frankly, if we live like that, it probably won't.

Adendem; She was talking about some imminent Tribulation/End of the World stuff. Should have known. I just, should have known and said nothing, like every other intelligent person did.

Dreams for Daughters

Right now I am single...

But I hope that one day I have a daughter.

I hope I have a daughter so I can teach her how lovely it is to love God. I hope I have a daughter so I can teach her that the love of a man is wonderful but loving the Father lasts forever. I hope I have a daughter so I can teach her that there is vanity in all the beautiful wonderful things of this life, except for loving God. I hope I have a daughter so when the world tells her she must be more and must be less and must have a man who feels strongly for her in order to be complete, when her friends run after flags in the wind and none of the texts or videos or advertisements she sees make her any happier for seeing them, when she's not sure who she is and just wants to be loved, that I can teach her that she is whole and complete and loved and lovely above all else in God and that when she puts him first she won't have to be desperate for the things of this world because every good thing she experiences will just be icing on the cake.



I hope I have a daughter.

And if I never do, I hope I live like she's learning from me anyway.

Good News

Well, since late December my life has been very hectic. I applied to nine graduate schools and was invited to interview at all nine. I participated in six interviews. I've been accepted for admission to four and declined for admission by one, and I'm still waiting on one. All this since, roughly, Christmas. I've also had Uni classes during the day, teaching classes in the evening, and this month an online class to boot, as well as everyday things. My life has been pretty much non-stop. Today is the first free day I've had in a month, where there was something I didn't have to do. I'm happy and overwhelmed. I'm...actually doing this. I'm more surprised than I should be, but a big part of me thought that trying my hardest and putting my best foot forward wasn't going to be good enough. I think I may have been wrong. ~.^

Sadness for Children

On Friday a friend of mine delivered her stillborn daughter. I believe the little girl was due in January. We were to have the shower yesterday. Her name was Isabella. Her mommy and daddy loved her very much, though they had yet to meet her. She was wanted. She brought joy though her eyes never saw the light of day.

I was looking forward to meeting her. I know everyone was. Her parents are profoundly good and faithful people.

Today was the funeral. I was honored to be one of the few invited to attend.

The sadness of missing this little girl and sympathizing with her heartbroken parents also drives home the sadness the families of those lost at Sandy Hook must be feeling.

There is a lot of sadness in the world.

New Semester and an Annoyance

Well, two weeks in and I'm still alive. This week starts the actual teaching+studenting <--this is now a word) thing. So, I'm a student, I'm a teacher. Still haven't figured out volunteering at Americana but I'm set for volunteering at church. CG doesn't seem like it'll change but I don't exactly have many nights free so I'll just have to coffee with the ladies.

Grad stuff...will talk about it when I have something to talk about.

Sleep troubles. No surprise there.

Some guy almost ran my mom off the road on the freeway the other day so I'm having these random moments of worrying about her.

Aside from that I just wanted to make note of something that bothers me:

The term "makes me." I mean, if I could speak fast enough I would say "No" before anything ever got out of a person's mouth. No one makes me anything unless they have a gun to my head, and I don't "make" anyone else do anything. For the longest time I used this word and then some very wise person pointed out that our feelings and our actions are our own, we can always control them. It was revolutionary for me. So, you don't "make" me mad, I become mad when you're an asshole. And, if I don't shut up, and you go and kill someone because you got so angry, I didn't make you kill anyone, I'm not responsible for their death, you're a homicidal psycho who chose to take life for a really trivial reason. So, no "make." If there's not a gun or a knife or a someone with a weapon to the head of a loved one there was no force, and with feelings there is never force. Manipulation, coercion maybe, goading, but never force. We choose what we feel. I choose what I feel.

Ah, well, that's about it.

Ta!

Identity

The other day someone brought up the subject of identity. You know, identity, how we define ourselves, what about us is intrinsically important to our self-definition.

I think it's fairly easy to discover how you identify yourself, though not necessarily fun; look back at the things that, when they were removed from your life, you had a crisis.

Easy-peasy