Secret of Me # 11

I'm a pretty literal person. 

This is my natural function. Though I'm very emotional, I try to analyze things empirically, and I almost always known why I did something, even if it was rash and emotional. 

I'm specific with what I say, exact in what I mean.

I can be confused (very very confused) and frustrated by people who aren't. 

Not always, I've learned to think ....differently. I've learned (am learning) to see how other people think. I've learned sarcasm. I've learned hyperbole.  I can recognize various nuanced voice inflections, if I'm listening for them.

Learned.

It's not natural. 

And, when I'm in a state of agitation, I'm as literal as I ever was. 

It's great for debates, not so great for fights. 

On the up side for everyone else, I never "play games" with people. 

P.S. Would it be redundant to say I like the way I am?

Secret of Me # 10

I have...

arguments,

animated arguments,

with myself

in my head.

Sometimes, it seems as though parts of my psyche are divergent entities all guiding me to act in a cohesive fashion. I'm not entirely sure it's sane, but I am sure it's good for me.

Here is are a few real examples. 

*me, working out, sweat dripping down my back*

other me: Woohoo! You go! You can do it! You rock! 

me: Hehehehehe. Why, thank you.

*me, opening web page that will suck up my time*

other me: Don't do it, don't do it!

Me: Gah! *closes out page...then opens it again*

other me: This a bad idea and you know it. How will you...

me: Shut up. I'm doing it. Shut up.

*me, after a mistake/bad choice*

other me: God, you suck. I mean, really? You knew this was going to happen. Idiot.

            me: That isn't helpful and isn't going to fix the problem. We're don't insult anymore, remember? It's not productive. We're being productive now.

other me; Fine fine. You don't suck.

Really, see, it's totally healthy. ;-)

You see, the key isn't to be sane; really, that's a pretty ridiculous goal; the key is to be functional and healthy. You can be abnormal without being dysfunctional. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Movie Review: Swinging With The Finkels

I just watched Swinging With the Finkels from Redbox. I wanted some brainless fun for a night with a migraine.

20 minutes in and I was already wondering when this movie was going to end.

40 minutes in, and I feel as though I was extremely patient to wait that long, I began skipping ahead, watching a minute or two, and skipping again. I saw maybe 10 minutes out of the last half of the movie.

By and far Martin Freeman was the best thing in this movie, and certainly the best actor, and he didn't even seem very great. If I had never seen anyone in this movie before I'd think they were all terrible actors. As it is I've seen Freeman on a comedy show, on Sherlock, and in The Hobbit. I know he's a good actor because I've seen it. It's almost amazing that the director/producer could actually make everyone seem that bad.

It was like they tried to play the movie strait-funny. Funny but the characters aren't in on it (eg. Stranger than Fiction). Except they failed.

Freeman's comedic timing was the best, he was also the only one with any nuance to his tone or expression. Nothing necessarily wrong with Mandy Moore, though apparently she isn't very good at fake crying.

Also, the Americans in England made it weird.

And, breaking it up into [unrelated] chapters also made it weird. Changing the narrators between the beginning and end made it weird.

The dialogue. It was like Senfeld and Gilmore Girls had a dialogue baby.

It wasn't funny; I think I laughed twice.

Nearly every scene felt incredibly...contrived (eg. the opening. Really? What on earth was the point of the market?)

The movie was just so bad. It had a hilarious premise but it was just so bad and so badly executed I couldn't even finish watching.

If this is a chick flick I'm not a chick (maybe it's not, I'm not entirely sure what it is, but it's romantic comedy only in the Shakespearean meaning of "comedy" as a story where all turns out well in the end and the romance is a fizzle at best), and I'm still puzzling over how this movie received its R rating.

Do yourself a favor, skip this movie. It's not even brainless fun.

Secret of Me # 9

There is only one "term of endearment" 

that I can hear from anyone 

(other than my mother, who really can call me whatever she likes)

without it resulting in a glare from me. 

Not "babe" or "sexy"

not "sweetheart" or "honey"

not "sweety" or "baby"

not "sweet thang" 

No

(god, how I hate them)

There is only one thing that I can be called

that might make me smile.

That would get as good a response from me as my name;

it's "love" 

Yes, you can call me that. 

Life Tip # 9 Skillz

There is no thing 

done with great skill 

that is not also done 

with a great amount of study.

Life Tip # 8 Pearls

Don't throw your pearls before swine.

Practically, 

this means don't comment on Yahoo! articles.

Secret of me # 8

I can read two things at once

I can listen to more than one conversation

I can think many things

But I cannot listen and read

Though to a degree I can read and write, or write and listen

I can think and listen 

But I cannot think and read

I can gear shift, but multitasking is sporadic

And rarely works when the two things are both using the same

center of my brain.

As a youth I often heard my father say how people with ADHD

could multitask 

so much better than the average person

and that they needed

music or tv or radio on to help them accomplish things

But I find I cannot filter noise at all

I need silence.

I do not multitask very well

though I am very easily distracted. 

So, I don't know if he is wrong, or my doctor was wrong

or if something like ADHD manifests much differently

in women than men.

What I do know, is trying to listen to music and study merely 

results

in me watching out the window

while I sing.